SAVE THE DATE
Save the Dates. What are they…, when do you send them out, and who do you send them to….these are some of the top Save the Date Etiquette questions. Being relatively new to the wedding scene, Save the Dates can be a fun and refreshing way to announce your engagement. At this point in your wedding journey, you need to have set the wedding date, have your guest list complete, and have set up your wedding website. Sending out save the dates lets you and your guests know that the countdown and fun have begun.
What is a Save the Date?
A Save the Date is a relatively new addition to the wedding industry stationary. They are a less formal, laid-back way to inject fun and your personality into your wedding journey. Sending a Save the Date to your guest list is a great way to give them as much advance notice possible for your upcoming wedding day, especially if you plan a destination wedding.
When To Send Save the Dates
Save the Dates should go out around six to eight months from your wedding date. If your wedding date is only four to six months away, you probably don’t need to send any. Your wedding invitations need to go out around six to eight weeks before the wedding. But if you are planning a destination wedding, the Save the Dates are essential to those quests you are asking to join you; therefore, eight to twelve months out will give those guests time needed to plan travel, save money and ask for time off for your event. In addition, your wedding website will need to be on the Save the Date. Use the website to give all the specific details of the destination wedding, including airport information, travel, cruise lines, hotels (especially if you have rooms blocked for the wedding), and travel for local area transportation.
Who Gets Save the Dates and How many to send?
Everyone officially on your guest list gets a Save the Date. Make sure only people you plan to invite to the wedding receive one. If you invite an entire household to your wedding, you should send just one Save the Date. That can help save a little money on the Save the Date costs.
Are Save the Dates a Waste of Money?
The purchase of Save the Dates is another expense that you’ll have to build into your wedding budget. You can choose to send out digital Save the Dates, but you will still need to gather everyone’s email address. One drawback with the emails is they can undoubtedly get missed or redirected into a spam folder and never seen. Also, if you have any senior relatives or friends, they might not have email. If that is the case, you will still need to send paper stationery Save the Date to them via mail.
Does Receiving A Save the Date Mean You Are Invited?
Yes, you should only send Save the Dates to those you’ve decided to invite to the wedding.
Can I Skip Sending Save the Dates?
Our lives and schedules fill up very fast today. And our weekends and upcoming holidays fill up even quicker. Research says if your wedding is 4 to 6 months away and most of your wedding guests live locally, you probably don’t need to send out Save the Dates. But, if you are planning a wedding 12 months out or a Destination Wedding where travel is required for everyone, you need to send Save the Dates. Destination wedding guests need as much time as possible to plan for travel and the expenses involved and ask for the proper time off of work.
What do you put on Save the Dates?
Make your Save the Dates simple. All you need is the happy couple’s names (Bride’s name first, if the same-sex couple, consider placing alphabetically), the wedding date, city, state, and mention that a formal invitation will be forthcoming. Last, make sure you have your wedding website included. The wedding website should contain information on suggested hotel accommodations for those coming from out of town. Most importantly, it must include all travel and hotel information for a destination wedding.
In my research, I’ve seen conflicting information on placing the venue name on Save the Dates. I look at this subject in this aspect. If you put the venue on the Save the Dates, there is always a chance that further down the line, life happens beyond your control that could make the need for a venue change. For example, finances could shift the wedding budget, and maybe a smaller venue is needed. I’ve also seen it happen where you book your venue, or at least you thought you did. Still, six months out, you contact the venue about questions or plans, only to hear they made a mistake on the calendar, your date wasn’t available like they thought, overlooked, and someone else now has the date you want. Suddenly, you are scrambling to find another venue with not much time before your wedding date (unfortunately, this happens even to the best venues.) Our youngest daughter’s church canceled her wedding four months before the big day, stating the board decided not to host any more marriages without booking their facilities for the reception. They refunded our deposit and gave no other explanation. Side note, we did find a beautiful vintage church actually down the road from the reception venue. They were very accommodating and just large enough for our guest count. They allowed us to bring our officiant in and have the wedding ceremony there. They were located just down the road from the venue, which had plenty of space for the bridal party to get ready, and it all worked out beautifully. But I will say that pressure to switch plans that close to the wedding was almost meltdown time!
Do You Reply To Save The Dates?
The Save the Date is just an informational alert letting you know about an upcoming event that you might want to attend. No RSVP is appropriate at this time. If it were me, I would check that date on my calendar to see if I have anything that might interfere with the Save the Date event. If not, then I will put the date on my calendar, maybe even send a quick email to say I just received the cute Save the Date, and either I’m looking forward to it or perhaps to say that you won’t be able to make it if something else is on your calendar. If you know you can’t make it and let the couple know, they can invite someone from their B list instead.
Hopefully, these Save The Date tips have been helpful to you in deciding to use them or not. Remember, your Save The Date card will be the first thing you’ll send out together as an engaged couple. So sending these notes out early goes a long way to make sure your loved ones are given plenty of time and opportunity to be there with you on your big day!